More From the Dudes

Part 2 ( Game on Dude) ZAAT: Dude! Hey…glad I found you. Game on Dude: “Oh, hey ZATT, how are ya? I wondered if I'd see you again.” ZAAT: You bet Dude, It is always good to see you. How‘ve you been? Game on Dude: “Ahh, you know. Strikes and splits, ups and downs.” ZATT: I didn’t realize you were a bowler. Game on Dude: “Oh yeah man. I love to roll…In a Tuesday night league and everything. We got a shot at the whole enchilada this year.” ZATT: Nice Dude. I am sure that is fun to get away from the track sometimes. By the way, speaking of the track, congratulations on your Lone Star Derby win. Game on Dude: “Thanks man. Texas was fun; good food. Grass was a little dry though.” ZATT: Too bad about that Texas grass. It looks like you are enjoying the Belmont grass there. First Dude: “New York is, well, I like it man. Lots to look at; got a new lady friend. I think we are going out for some Moo Goo Gai Pan later.” ZATT: Uh...I see, is she a runner as well? Game on Dude: “Not sure ZATT…that’s the difference between you and me. Your mind is always on the races.” ZATT: Well not all the time, but I enjoy my job. My readers want to know your game plan for the Belmont. Game on Dude: “It's a complicated race, man. Lotta ins, lotta outs. Fortunately Bobby has me adhering to a pretty strict, uh, training regimen to keep me, you know, limber.” ZATT: Any specific plan for the race? Game on Dude: “Yeah man.” ZATT: Can you expand on that answer? Game on Dude: “Huh?.” ZATT: Your strategy for the race? Game on Dude: “Yeah…you know, I’m just going to roll it, let it all hang out.” ZATT: Pretty laid back, but I guess that is what you are all about. Game on Dude: “Yeah man.” ZATT: Best of luck in the Belmont, and take it easy, Dude. Game on Dude: “Well, you know, the Dude abides.” Special thanks to Joel and Ethan Coen, whose film The Big Lebowski, was a not so subtle influence on this piece, and were responsible for some of the quotes of both First Dude and Game on Dude.

The Dudes

With the big race only six days away, I have decided to get back to some good old fashioned journalism. To those ends, I hit the backstretch early to obtain inside information from some of the major players in the Test of Champions. Mission accomplished. What follows are two highly informative interviews as a direct result of all my effort. After all nothing is too good for my readers. Part 1 (First Dude) ZAAT: Mr. Dude, thanks so much for… First Dude: “Look, let me explain something. I'm not Mr. Dude. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That, or Duder. His Dudeness. Or El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing.” ZAAT: Sorry Dude. First Dude: “That’s OK ZATT. By the way that’s an interesting name…ZATT, what is that Dutch-Hungarian?” ZATT:  Uh…no. Actually it is an acronym for Zipse at… First Dude: “Come on, man, it was just a little joke. Besides, I don’t think my fans care what ZATT stands for.” ZATT: Probably so Dudeness. Anyway…I wanted to ask you about your performance in the Preakness. First Dude: “No big thing man. I just ran.” ZATT:  That is awfully humble of you considering what a great race you ran. I figured that you were trying to pound your competition into dust that day. First Dude:  “ZATT, you can't talk like that, man. These guys are like me, they're pacificists. Smokey was a conscientious objector.” ZATT:  Uh...I see, and…Smokey??? First Dude:  “Smokey. You know…Jackson Bend. He likes to be called Smokey. So that‘s we call him.” ZATT:  Interesting. But back to you; you showed great talent and heart with your close 2nd place finish in the Preakness. Is it that talent and heart that makes you the kind of horse that you are? First Dude: “Sure. That and a pair of testicles.” ZATT:  Wow, that is more information than I was expecting, but thank you for your candor. One more quick question… First Dude:  “Good, starting to get a little hungry here.” ZATT:  What is your prediction for the Belmont? First Dude:  “My prediction? Well like Woody said, look for the horse who will benefit. And you will, uh, you know, you'll, uh, you know what I'm trying to say…” Part 2 (Game On Dude) will be published on Tuesday. Special thanks to Joel and Ethan Coen, whose film The Big Lebowski, was a not so subtle influence on this piece, and were responsible for some of the quotes of both First Dude and Game on Dude.