September 17, 2009

Rabbit Stew

“Be vewwy, vewwy quiet, I’m hunting rabbits.” Why, you question, am I hunting rabbits? I was hoping that you would ask. Some of the greatest horses in thoroughbred racing history have been plagued by these pesky little rabbits, and I demand that it stops today. The latest varmint to pop out of his rabbit hole and twitch his rabbit nose at the world occurred in front of my very eyes in the Woodward Stakes. The magnificent race horse, Rachel Alexandra, was set to run her heart out in her first attempt against older horses and low and behold what did we see … but a screwy rabbit. “Oh boy, rabbit tracks.” Apparently his handler calls him Da’ Tara. Now this handler, a Mr. Nicholas Zito, declined to admit to Da’ Tara’s true identity, but methinks his furry little white tail gave him away. In the paddock that day, I tapped Da’ Tara on his shoulder and said, “Pardon me, but you know you look just like a rabbit.” There was no reply. The race was soon run and this dirty little rabbit tried all of his rabbit tricks and almost cost mighty Rachel the race, thankfully she overcame.

Unfortunately, this is not a new trend in racing. Allowing rabbits in races that are specifically designed for horses has been going on for a long time. The great Dr. Fager was harassed by that screwy Hedevar on more than one occasion. Triple Crown champion Seattle Slew was pestered by the wascally Life’s Hope in ‘The Greatest Loss There Ever Was’. More recently the little long eared, fur balls Show Boot and Crafty Player ran in the Woodward just to beleaguer Commentator. In many cases these nuisances have prevented the best horse from winning the race. Does that seem fair? Great horses, beautiful and majestic creatures that they are, having to run against rabbits??? When will the madness end?

I would like to put an end to it right now and I offer a viable alternative. Now you have to understand that I am an animal lover through and through, but these pesky rabbits have bothered me once too often. Perhaps Elmer J Fudd, the genius that he was, had it right all these years when he said “Mama's wittle baby woves wabbit, wabbit, Mama's wittle baby woves wabbit stew!” I ask you … shouldn’t we keep the rabbits out of the races and maybe put them instead into a nice, tasty little stew?

2 comments:

LDP said...

I too hate rabbits, and the tricks jockey's use just to make sure one horse loses. I understand they want to win, but to purposfully box, or hinder another horse because they have the best chance isn't fair. Everybody should run there own race, and concentrate less on trying to beat just one horse.

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